Eyewitness Description

Something really weird happened at the beginning of class on Friday. It happened without warning or comment. What was it??


The following is a composite of eyewitness testimony from those present during the 30 January 2015 CFB/PHYS 3333 class(*).

We are looking for a White, African-American, Hispanic, Middle-Eastern female guy aged 17 to 40 years old, weighing a slim 120 to 150 pounds, with normal height between 5'4" and 5'9". The suspect wore a white lab coat, or fencing gear, or a bee-keeper's outfit, or a bio-hazard suit, or a gypsy-like dress with red writing on the left side. Brown hair was visible under the green or camo kevlar army helmet with netting, which might have been a military cap or a white hard hat. The face was covered by a black veil, or green ski mask, or a speckled floral scarf, or a hoodie, or a dark shawl. Goggles or sunglasses completely covered the eyes which could not be seen but looked straight at me. It had a white triangular nose. It wore either yellow dishwashing gloves or black gloves while carrying a purple or black and white striped umbrella with large SMU letters painted on it. The shoes which could have been boots were dirty brown or greyish brown.

The suspect made either no sound or a loud stomping sound as it entered from the back of the classroom, walked down the stairs to the front of the room, and either left something on the table or picked up a DNA, atomic, or molecule model made of red balls and silver rods. The umbrella was open. The perp walked to the back of the classroom, closed the umbrella, and left. Estimates of the elapsed time ranged from 10 seconds to 3 minutes.

Did anyone get a picture?

(*) The above is based on the eyewitness testimony of 32/52 students. 20/52 students observed nothing related to the events conducted by the suspect. A few of those 20 saw puppies, Dirk Nowitzki, a Guardian of the Galaxy, and a four-foot tall old woman running down the hall. Remember, the use of hallucinogenic drugs in class is discouraged.

Imagine yourself as a detective, lawyer, UFO researcher, or ghost researcher trying to figure out what happened. We really don't observe things as well as we think we do.

Composite Photo

Courtesy of Cpl. Melvin Douglas, sketch artist for DPD.