The Rabbit, the Fox, and the Wolf

A Graduate Student Fable

One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the weather. The day was so nice that the rabbit became careless, so a fox sneaked up to her and caught her.

"I am going to eat you for lunch!" said the fox.

"Wait!" replied the rabbit, "you should at least wait a few days."

"Oh yeah? Why should I wait?"

"I am almost finished writing my Ph.D. thesis."

"Hah! That's a stupid excuse. What is the title of your thesis anyway?"

"I am writing a thesis on `The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves.'"

"Are you crazy? I should eat you up right now! Everybody knows that a fox will always win over a rabbit."

"Not really; not according to my research. If you'd like, you can come to my hole and read it for yourself. If you are not convinced you can go ahead and have me for lunch."

"You are really crazy." But since the fox was curious and had nothing to lose, it went with the rabbit into its hole. The fox never came back out.

A few days later the rabbit was again taking a break from writing, and, sure enough, a wolf came out of the bushes and was ready to eat her.

"Wait!" yelled the rabbit, "You cannot eat me right now."

"And why might that be, you fuzzy appetizer?"

"I am almost finished writing my Ph.D. thesis on "The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves.'"

The wolf laughed so hard it almost lost its hold on the rabbit. "Maybe I shouldn't eat you, you're really sick in the head, you might have something contagious," the wolf opined.

"Come read for yourself. You can eat me after that if you disagree with my conclusions." So the wolf went into the rabbit's hole and never came out.

The rabbit finished writing her thesis and was out celebrating in the lettuce fields. Another rabbit came by and asked, "What's up? You seem to be very happy."

"Yup, I just finished writing my dissertation."

"Congratulations! What is it about?"

"It is titled `The superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves.'"

"Are you sure? That doesn't sound right."

"Oh, yes, you should come over and read for yourself."

So they went together to the rabbit's hole. As they went in, the friend saw the typical graduate student abode, albeit a rather messy one after writing a thesis. The computer with the controversial dissertation was in one corner. On the right there was a pile of fox bones and on the left was a pile of wolf bones, and in the middle was a lion.

MORAL: The title of your dissertation doesn't matter-all that matters is your thesis advisor.